PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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