I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
