Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Randomize
