You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize