Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
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He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
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You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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