so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
