Plan B is the new Plan A
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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