I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
