1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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