He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
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