That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
