There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
