Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
