dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
