Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
