My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
