just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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