I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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