have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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