Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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