She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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