My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
