oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
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I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
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You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
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