I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
