dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
