I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize