Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
