I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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