period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize