i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
