I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
