Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
