You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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