I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Randomize
