You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
