tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
