As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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