if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
i barfeds in our rink
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
