forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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