I wish I could punch you in the face.
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Randomize
