btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
