DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
