He disabled his match.com account in front of me
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
