I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
the night ended with taco bell and tears
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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