dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
