No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
