Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
well you can't waste a boner
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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