summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
