Taylor Swift is so right about you.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Randomize
