dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
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I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
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After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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