the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Everyone says I win the strip club
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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