I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
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It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
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I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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