I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
