She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
