kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize